Thought I take a moment to catch up with YOU. It’s been a wild ride the last couple of weeks and although for me, it seems like years, it’s actually only been a couple of weeks since I made a huge change in my life.
A bazillion years ago I chose to become a mom and with that, I took on this interesting point of view of what that meant financially. Having the responsibility of other people has gifted me so much and it’s really locked me into a “thing” around ensuring the money shows up.
For the last couple of years, I have danced in a not so fun financial situation for a couple of reasons I know of (possibly more). One, I saw change happening and envisioned that change to be something it was never going to be and two, the big one, I have teenage boys still at home to take care of.
With all of my crazy capacities, I tried opening other doors to replace the money and none of them actualized into anything while the other thing I was doing kept taking over my life.😱
My friends and family would say often, I don’t know how you do it or why are you still doing it. I would tell myself, change was happening. Blah, Blah, Blah. Have you ever played on that hamster wheel?
Funny thing is….
The moment came where I had enough and I slammed the door and nothing would allow me to open it if I wanted to.
I didn’t have a plan, shutting that door wasn’t planned. and…..
I didn’t panic, I wasn’t freaked out. I had so much time on my hands and so much room to be in my own reality that I recognized I hadn’t been playing in it much at all. My life was consumed in another insanity.
Time…. so much time on my hands.
So I have played, I have gone on some fun dates. I have hung out with friends. I have attended parties. I have had some fun times with my kids and all of it without my phone blowing up. (big breath of relief)
I have been asking a lot of questions around what I would like to be doing with MY life and being included in all aspects of it.
That sounds strange as I say it, and I wonder if any of you have experienced giving so much of your time and energy to someone or something that doesn’t include you. It’s kind of hard to see until you are all the way out of it, how little you existed in it.
The gifts have been plenty through this experience and I am incredibly grateful for every last one. I know even more about myself, how I function and what my capacities are. I’ve outgrown myself and I’m excited about the next adventure.
I could almost cry getting to this part. The doors I tried to open, the ones I tried to walk through as a backup plan or an exit strategy. They all opened and the best part is, better ones than I could have imagined have opened.🙏🙏
There is a different story floating around that isn’t true and it doesn’t matter. People have reached out to me as a contribution from that story and the kindness is the part that truly fills my heart. I had no idea so many people all around the world even knew me, let alone what I have created. My invisibility cloak seems to have fallen off at some point and I am grateful. Thank you all for reaching out and being kind. The truth is, I chose and for me, it was the best choice.🤗
I know that I always have my own back and I know that the Universe has my back too.
I’ve said for a while now when you receive the NO a better yes can show up.
It’s true people!
I forgot that I was creating backward. I forgot that you have to close a door first so that another can open.
I forgot that in the creation of all the things I loved to do was my brilliance at the core and that wasn’t something I was letting go of even though it looked as though it all belonged to someone else on the outside.
So my friends, if any of you are sitting there torn with what to choose. It may be time to slam a door shut and see what miracle shows up.
I don’t know all the things that are next and I am having fun with the ones showing up not to mention, it’s fun to simply get paid and not have to wait or dance with a song. Whew! Who knew?