That One Thing That You Did To Me That One Time

I was working for a clothing designer based in Colorado, as a sales representative.  This allowed me to travel all over the states and meet new and interesting people.  At a home trunk show the hostess and I were talking. She told me that she did energy worked and asked if I would like a session.  Heck ya, who would say no to that.  I showed up at her house, laid on her bed and she touched my head gently.  I passed out, totally out till she woke me to tell me she was done.  I felt amazing and had no idea what happened.  I headed out on my six hour drive home and all the way, I thought, I don’t know what that was but I want to know how to do that.

Fast forward a few months, my life had changed, in what I perceived to be the worst and I was pleading with the Universe for something, anything that would give me a new start.  Scrolling through Facebook I saw a post saying something about an Access Bars® class from the woman who gifted me that session.  I private messaged her and asked, “hey is that the one thing that you did to me that one time?”  She responded with yes, and I knew I had to take this class.

Funny thing about me, I used to always compartmentalize my life into the different roles, work was work, school was school, being a mom was being a mom and so on with none of those things collaborating together.  At this point I was the only parent with no one to watch the boys and still, I wanted this.  She suggested that I bring them, that we could all stay with her and our boys could play together.  She told me that lots of kids go to these classes and they were welcome to come, that she would give her kids a tablet and let them hang out in the corner of the room.

Totally out of my comfort zone~

woman sitting on chair while using laptop computer
Photo by on

Kids with media

Kids in a class with me where they could be a distraction and I would have to be there for them and miss something.

Something totally new that I knew nothing about.

Okay, I am in!

And the three of us heading to Boulder.

It was super easy, her kids and my kids got along together like they’d always been friends.  The next morning getting ready for an eight hour class, I brought lots of snacks, my computer and phone and parked the boys in a corner, one with each.  Of course the oldest was thrilled as he was always begging for media.  The class had an odd number of people so they asked the boys if either of them wanted to learn to run Bars, my youngest jumped up and said yes.  I was sure he would get tired and not want to do it but no, he ran my Bars and allowed me to run his, completing the whole class.  The oldest was on the computer the whole time and happy with that.

We headed out and all the way home BOTH boys were talking about the class, they loved it and what really got me was Z, he was repeating things from the class saying, hey mom, that one thing, that is pretty cool and so on.  He absorbed the class the same as myself and R while sitting in a corner engrossed in games on my computer.  What????

As if that wasn’t enough, my whole life changed.  Everything I had been asking for that I didn’t realize I was asking for shifted.  The relationship that I was in, that I thought I wanted, that didn’t really work for me, ended.  My world completely opened up and all of the responsibility that I had always known was diminished, gone and I was gifted with me, getting to choose for me.  Even my dog, whom I love, left me for my son.  I admit that for a time, I had to process the letting go, the getting left and one question has really helped.

What is right about this I am not getting?

The boys went off to live in Alaska with dad and I spent my first winter in twenty, in a warm climate dancing with the ocean on white sandy beaches, creating new connections, feeling energy and abundance like nothing I have known before.  Everyday, I wake up and ask the Universe to show me something beautiful and it happens, and everyday I am truly grateful and everyday, even when I am unsure of my next step, I know the Universe has my back, a question will shift the energy and I am the one who creates my reality.

ocean under cloudy sky
Photo by Julia Kuzenkov on

So grateful for the open door, XO


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