More Sap Than A Weeping Willow

I don’t even know where that title came from or whether willow trees even weep sap, and, it seems relevant for this day to be that dramatic.

What is happening?

That is the question rambling from my lips over and over as I am gratitude tears flowing with no sense in sight.

I’m over the moon, shazam style, dancing machine and down in prayer pose position gratitude filled and an overflowing ball of mush today.  As one awareness, after another, is showing me the creation of choosing greater, saying yes, following the energy, knowing and TOTALLY BEING, even through excruciating amounts of judgments and seemingly torturous choices.

Michelle what in the world are you riddling about now?

Ha! I know..

I don’t even have words and I’m gushing to share.

One of the hardest choices I have made so far in my life was letting go of my kids.  It’s all seemed so selfless, or selfish depending on your judgments and inside, it’s been a true testament of strength and courage in trusting the elements of choice and following the energy of what’s true is light.  Light is sometimes heavy on the heart.

In the end of this current cycle, I am a day in a half away from picking them up at the airport as they, of their own free will, without any coercion or manipulation, without speaking to each other, they both have chosen me.


It comes from an old deep seeded core issue of never being chosen. Yes, I know it’s not true, not even an issue today and…

It’s like this full circle, big picture, all the pieces sort of thing happening right now.

AND… it’s even more than that.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on

My cloak of invisibility is broken, like people see me. Not some created persona or ego type need to see me kind of see me. The thank you for being you kind of seeing and it’s penetrating my soul with all this gushy and smoochy can’t have a barrier if I tried space that is… NO WORDS and YES and WIDE EYED WONDER.

AND… It’s even more than that.

It’s strangers and kindnesses beyond and molecules and breezes and blessings and so many tears, so much receiving.

I even tripped into a man that for a moment, pinged something in me that called my attention.  That hasn’t happened in a very, very long time.

So before I could sleep, my long over due musings called me to write. to share one simple point to all of this swirling sap.

There is something to asking and trusting. To following the lightness even when it hurts your heart.  To keep doing you, being, generating, creating stretching and then some more. And NEVER GIVE UP… That miracle on the other side of all the choosing, it’s YOU. and like the good witch said to Dorthy, it’s been inside of you all along.


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