What Animals Taught Me About Competition

Let me tell you a little story…

When I was young I didn’t think about things like competition , I wasn’t jealous and some of my best friends were men and also lovers at one time or another.  It was ease for me and the thought of getting caught up in anything traditional made me cringe.  That is, up to the point that I found myself pregnant and a conversation with my dad that drove the rest of my choices for quite some time.

There is a different story about the things that he said to me and what directions I took from there, and they don’t pertain to this story.  What does pertain to this story is how his points of view about my choices changed me, shifted how I viewed life.

In honor of staying on topic, I’ll just say that relationships after that, not only mimicked the ugly parts of my childhood,  they brought forth an insecurity within me that shattered that ease I had always known.

On the other side of a drawn out divorce and years in inner child healing work, I found that free spirit again.

It stayed with me and even through my second marriage and some infidelities, I never once made it about me, even when he tried.  I just got it, that it was never about me.

The animal totem…..

One of the two strongest animals in my totem is the Elk.  While Elk medicine is stamina, it is also about discovering and loving the gender that is your own, about those friendships guiding you to overcome jealousy or competition.

During the time in my life that I was not myself, I didn’t have close friendships with women, I actually several points of view about them and it all applied to me in that time.

What is the gift?

It’s just not in my nature, jealousy or competition, while I can sense it in my field, I just get that there is plenty for all and it’s just never about me.

I didn’t meet Elk when I was young and he was there, I met him on the other side of that crazy time in my life and for a very long time, he showed me stamina, perseverance and assisted me in taking the journey from start to finish, pushing me when I wanted to give up.  While I understand myself and the different way that I function with people, this part of elk medicine only came into my awareness a short time ago.

I was having a conversation with a client about the balance of the feminine spirit animal and the masculine spirit animal and it clicked.

I have amazing friendships with both men and women and so many more with women.  Aside from that one short decade, my life has been full of phenomenal relationships with women, without jealousy or competition. It’s actually a fun moment when someone who functions from either or both of those, recognizes that it’s just not there with me.

This isn’t to say it doesn’t come up, it does and sometimes it’s full scale before I recognize what it is.  You see, the things that are just not in your reality are a lot harder to see when they show up.

How much greater of a contribution can we be to each other when we are not in competition?

Just the other day, I introduced one of my close friends to one of my ex lovers.  It’s just a beautiful thing, I mean, for what reason would I ever want to be the one standing in the way of anything.

Each connection is as unique as the two people experiencing it and there is always enough.

Someone asked me the other day if I had a problem with other people creating in my area, some of the same things I am creating.

Not at all….

I live in a city with hundreds of thousands of people and tourists coming through everyday.  Can I touch each and every one of those lives directly?


When someone does competition, I just don’t choose to play.

Have you ever just not argued with someone, just let them have it.  Did you notice that there wasn’t a fight?

If someone chooses competition with me and I don’t play, is there competition?

Go out and gather with people, be change, and create a world of total gratitude with the one choice to just stop…


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