Receiving EVERYTHING

Have you ever had something catch your breath and cause you to stumble and just as you were starting to stand up straight, the carpet pulls from beneath you and you fall flat on your……..?

mydesign-1

I sat there facing it and I asked myself.  If I were not in the presence of this situation, person, experience and so on, would this be true for me….

NO…. as in a BIG FUCK NO….

99% of all of your thoughts, feelings and emotions are not yours, you are perceiving them for other people – Gary Douglas

Not only do I resist any energy that “feels” negative or bad, I try really hard to change it and I try really hard to create a space that allows the other person to shine, expand, and/or just be comfortable.

and I say I try really hard as, I also get that I am change and whether I get small or not, I am still change and I just kinda can’t get small enough and stay in the space.

How often do you shrink yourself when others are uncomfortable?

I’ve done it for as long as I can remember.  It’s as though it is my single responsibility to ensure that everyone, at all times, feels comfortable in the world and if my being is too LOUD, well then I better get quiet.

Have you shrunk yourself?

The ah ha’s keep coming.

I grew up in a reality where “children are to be seen and not heard” and being in the room is wrong too.  When did I learn to include myself?  I didn’t.

Questions lead me to another and another and clearings, and sometimes a good cry in the shower, some dancing, some laughing and getting my Bars® run…

and

The DEMAND, to be me even when everyone else walks away, to BE ME greater than yesterday and to keep turning it up louder and louder…

You see, I get that I didn’t come here to play small and I didn’t come here to ensure that every person on the planet is comfortable, doing that, getting small so others are comfortable is not actually a kindness, not actually a gift.

If me Being me is uncomfortable for you, what are you not willing to Be?

and receiving everything is more than that one awareness and that one judgment.

Receiving IS everything…

My journey has lead me to teachings, shamans, ceremonies, connections beyond and sometimes I forget we are all connected…

I live in this beautiful home with lush landscape all around, it nurtures me, supports me, gifts to me everyday and right in the middle of Choosing to get judgment free and including me, I was perceiving judgments I hadn’t noticed before, they were right in front of me and I had identified them as something else and as they were starting to surface, my avocado tree started dropping fruit.  Let me tell you, from the ground looking up, I can’t even see one piece of fruit.

And

It would throw fruit right as I walked out side.

The third time, was right as the full awareness started to click in and I’m not kidding, the tree threw an avocado right at me.  There was nothing left to do except look up and say, I get it, I GET IT and thank you.

Receiving the judgment and the gift simultaneously freed me in that moment and I got it….

Receiving doesn’t mean, taking it in, agreeing with it, certainly not resisting it, it’s just an allowance to let what it is be what it is and keep being me anyway…

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