Gifts In Giving

I received a phone call this am.  This call came in as a quick, just wondering if you’d like to have and if you know anyone, type of call that quickly turned into a conversation of stories; delightful, inspiring and receiving.

WOW, the gratitude…

Many years ago, and what seems like another lifetime, I worked deeply with the Earth, animals and plant oils that came from small artisan farms all over the world.  These oils are distilled in small batches and co-created with the plants and spirits of the land, the type where the caretaker of the land honors and respects the plant, the land and the process. I too was in deep honor and creation that I received a download and recipes for sacred blends.  It took two years to bring them to bottle and the process came with great care and dedication.  I would connect with each oil, the plant and the land it came from then drop, one drop at a time, into a violet glass bottle infusing them with energy, from me, from the universe, crystals and intention for the vision gifted to me.

I packaged over 50 sets of these oils and there were 7 bottles in each set.  Over the last several years I have sold them, gifted them to many people and with only a few left, almost forgot about them.

Here is where it gets interesting.  I kinda gave up a huge part of something I loved creating because people didn’t RECEIVE. You see, I got the part about honoring and asking when it came to everything except PEOPLE.

  • Maybe it’s been my belief that if I could change people, then I could change the planet.
  • Maybe it was the idea that if only they would awaken to something more than everything would change.

and

  • Maybe it was just me choosing for them that they couldn’t receive and maybe it’s something else entirely.

Do you give without asking?  I mean, have you ever asked if the person can receive what you are “gifting”?  Have you ever offered advice and wondered why the person couldn’t hear you, receive from you or in some cases resented you?

As I am chatting along with my friend, she asks me if I’d like to hear a story about the oils I had gifted her.  I said yes, of course and she began.

She tells me how she asked her husband if he’d like to play a game and how profound the experience with the oils were for him and then for her and how after they were done, he asked, can we do that again. This was HUGE in her life as her husband is new to receiving in this fashion.

As I am listening along, tears are streaming down my face and I get a flash of everyone I have shared these oils with. I respond with thank you and get another flash, that she, like another friend of mine from awhile back, represent that acknowledgment that I just couldn’t ever really get from my mother.  (Note: This isn’t a bash on my mother, she is a wonderful person.)  I went right to the moment I gifted her these oils and experienced her response.  How she boldly dismissed them. Then I got something else…. She didn’t ask for them and she didn’t receive them.  In that interaction with my mother, it froze me in a place where she dismissed me and what if that wasn’t it at all.

I shut down a piece of me, in many moments like that with her, I shut down a piece of me.

It’s funny, my mother probably knows me the least of anyone who knows my name and for a long time I blamed her and after it didn’t matter I figured it was up to her. Today I get it.  How could she know me if I am not willing to BE ME in the presence of her?

I haven’t been willing to receive whatever she offered.

I’ve had a lot of dances with my mother and it always comes down to this, we will just talk on the surface of life where it is easy and have a relationship.

It’s not about having her in my life or not, I’ve actually consciously chosen a relationship with her and have allowance for how ever that shows up, only I also secretly had expectation.

Today, after 22 days of choosing to get judgment free, include me and receive everything, something else showed up that I didn’t know I was choosing.

  • I was being me when I created those oils
  • I was being me when I gifted them and sold them
  • I was being me when I showed people how to use them

and I cut off me, choice and inclusion

  • when PEOPLE didn’t receive
  • when I created no choice
  • when I didn’t ask questions
  • When I didn’t receive judgment
  • When I expected anything from my mother

and

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This call didn’t end there.

She also told me a story of a recent car accident and that in the moment, she thought of me, of a story I had told her about when my car broke down and I kept asking, what else is possible.  She asked what else is possible and it granted a whole new perspective of her situation.  The juicy part of her story, was when she said,

“the person I was before would have been in that women’s face yelling at her and instead, I hugged her and asked if she was okay.”

that my beautiful friends is the gift of this adventure…..How does it get any better than that?

Michelle

 

5 thoughts on “Gifts In Giving

  1. Michelle – You are such a Beautiful, Inspiring, and Thought-Provoking Infinite BEing! You have an amazing Gift for Writing/Blogging. Thank You for BEing YOU!! I love you with all my heart!! ~Vicki

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