Did Expectation Kill Cupid?

How many expectations do you around love,

  • what it means
  • how it shows up
  • Valentines Day
  • what that means
  • how someone shows up for that day
  • how you are supposed to show up

that set up all the

  • disappointment
  • stresses
  • have to’s
  • should’s
  • I am not enough
  • it’s not enough
  • he’s not enough

that keep you locked up in a cycle of never experiencing fun and joy with another being?


Here I am, single, laying alone in my cozy bed, the morning after Valentines Day, totally relishing is the fun I had and the recognition of how this wasn’t ever my reality before.

I didn’t

  • Get together with my other single friends and salute to being single
  • Bash the idea of the holiday
  • Set up anyone to spend the day with hoping for something romantic
  • Feel the pressures of the holiday

I didn’t even think about it, think about it in any context of expectation. I really just went about my day like any other.

I have been in many relationships, engaged, married, and dating. In all of those scenarios around this holiday, something killed cupid.  In the moment, it seemed to be something he did or didn’t do, how he was wrong or didn’t show up.  I didn’t give men any room to get it right, I was always sure they would fail and justified myself in the fact that they did.  That is not actually them failing, it’s me expecting.

Expectation sets people up to fail as it creates an energy between the two of you. They have to get it right and do just the right thing, only, it’s a guessing game to what that actually is. Add in the pressure and you have a nice mix of, he screwed up again, stew. Who really enjoys that, how much love is felt there? How much honor and joy?

Here I am, the day after, totally grateful for experiencing a wonderful Valentine’s Day, filled with delicious intimacy, fun, adventure and moments of raw vulnerability.  I had no expectations of anyone to include myself and the day showed up full of people and play.

Cheers to Valentine’s Day, and keeping Cupid alive with many more moments of questions……

Big Love, Michelle





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